The City/The Beach (04/02)

I curl myself into a ball, my limbs curling around each other, protecting my torso. Through my tightly clenched eyelids I see my body mimic the spiral of my favourite seashell.

Secure in spiral form, I remember the beach. I feel the sand on my feet, in between my toes, on my calves and in my hair as I lie beneath the low tree. I can feel the spots of heat on my skin where the sun pokes through the foliage. …


From within the grey fog a twirling figure appears. Big babushka skirt and 3 stone boots, cardigan matching the fog and a shock of red hair appearing and disappearing from underneath a purple scarf.

I’m twirling in the mist

Because I know what I miss.

Because I don’t know

What else

Makes sense.

At first faint but gradually louder, the sound of running water. The sound carries through the mist. Muffled, it eventually reaches the teeny ears with red hair tucked behind them.

The twirling takes on purpose and she moves towards the sound, following the gentle trickle as…

I’ve seen many things you know; even without eyes I sense the world outside and around me. I tune into the vibrations. There is no feeling without me, every pinch of pain and burst of butterflies is my doing.

I take my job seriously. Our conglomerate is solid, our workforce billions of bacteria strong. Our comms could use some work, though I suspect it’s our Human who doesn’t listen rather than a failure on our part.

Our role is simple but vital. Feeling emotion, I’m reliably informed, is the basis for a Happy Human. Only through feeling can insight occur…

The journey home-Part I

“The thing that the mainstream media doesn’t want you to know is that Donald Trump is a force for good my friend!”

I looked back and saw a young British (white, obviously) man talking to an older Thai man. The Thai man and I exchanged looks, I raised my eyebrows over my mask and he smiled. As incandescently angry as that statement made me, I made a conscious decision not to allow it to ruin my day, my last day on the beautiful island of Koh Tao.

I kept walking, muttering obscenities to myself about the…

Hair loss and regrowth Haikus

About four months after giving birth, my hair started falling out. Big clumps of it every time I brushed my hair, my flat was littered with miniature tumbleweeds of it.

I expected it, I have enough friends with children to know that it happens to many women. During pregnancy, my hair stopped shedding and was thick and beautiful. The shedding was a physical manifestation of my grief, and I tried everything under the sun to stem the tide. …

Little Larissa and Plum Village

I have spent the past few weeks and months connecting with my inner child. I finally finished reading Thich Nhat Hahn’s book, Reconciliation: healing the inner child, which I bought over a year ago at his monastery in France. I went there just under a month after giving birth to Jamil- I booked it two days after deciding not to have a C-section. I needed so badly to have something to look forward to, something positive on the horizon after the death of my son. I was expecting to give birth within a couple of…


On the last night of my 5 days in Bangkok, before I travelled north to Sukhothai, I did a street food tour. I had spent my time alone in the city-the first stop on my 4 month tour around South East Asia-and I was looking forward to some good food and company.

We were to meet our guide at a metro station near my hotel. I walked there, leaving the major thoroughfare by my hotel to walk down a dark alley which wound round and round until it opened up to a bright and crowded temple and another large…

No distractions, or: The battle of procrastination

It’s really hard to sit with yourself, with no distractions. I imagine a lot of people are struggling with this right now.

I’ve been travelling for two months now, moving around quite a lot-I think the longest I’ve spent anywhere was the 6 days I spent in Hanoi. For the last 14 days, I’ve been on Koh Tao in Thailand, 9 of those days in a house share.

Corona and decision making trauma

I made it into Thailand and down to Koh Tao, a jewel of an island in the Gulf of Thailand. The 10 hour bus and ferry journey (complete with a bus accident) was forgotten the second I saw where I would be staying for at least the next two weeks.

“Wow, I’ve landed in paradise.”

Vietnam and Corona

I guess it was inevitable that I’d write about coronavirus, it is the crisis du jour, dominating all media- hard to escape.

It has struck me how different the western reaction is compared to the Eastern one. Here in Vietnam, I’ve had my temperature taken at every train station and airport, I’ve filled in health declarations about where I’ve been and any symptoms I’ve experienced and now I’ve downloaded the government app which provides daily information and an opportunity to update my health declaration. …

Larissa Fischer

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